its days like this that i really need lots and lots of luck. =/

p.s. it seems like lately my posts are alternatively happy/sad. erm, so its obvious that this is going to be a sad one. but not exactly sad though.

Been hearing from some people how they didn't get this and that (with regards to uni applications) recently. of course i feel sad for them cause no one better than me can understand how this feels. and also this really made me kind of disappointed with myself.
when now i am (finally and officially) given the chance which i wanted so badly, i just feel that i'm not making good use of this chance. or maybe not good enough as compared to others. Yes, its easier to fall behind, harder to get ahead. and after visiting this shifu a few days ago, i now (strongly) believe that success in life is pretty much determined by forces outside our control. he's like so right about me. how i get swayed easily by others. how i'm not focused (enough) on my goal. and etc.

i finally felt what its like to be "so near but yet so far" to something. its a horrible feeling.

=D

i feel v v blessed. =D

finally received the news. yayness. super super grateful for that chance. THANKS so much. shall pray really hard that everything goes fine. ok, next week and the following week will be so scary... my whole life shall depend on it. best of luck to me!!!

my contract at ey will be extended for (at least) a month again. [this means having to shop for more corporate wear =x] cool =) shall continue to work with my fun colleagues. these few days have been quite happening. they(the guys) plan to play soccer someday. and chongwei asked if i want to play...erm...i confirm kenna hit by the ball lor! and sacha suggested to make fri a theme day. something like everyone will dress to the theme. should be quite funny. yup. my dept is really happening.

love jay chou's new song [the song written for the olympics] its so motivating ok! its my daily boost of energy =)

this is so sad and depressing.

received a call on wed night. its a call for interview. and i think its really bad news for me =( it just means _________________________. yup. ok, i wasn't really expecting that much anyway cause i knew where's my limits. but i have to admit this hit me really hard. weds night was still ok. but its thurs morning that i really broke out into tears. come to think of it. i was really glad that i cried [all those collective feelings were pushing me too hard]. really hecked those pple looking at me at chevron house. my mum kept asking me to stop and i knew i had to stop. needed to go to work. but i swear i could have like cried maybe for at least another hour or so.

i'm really sick and tired of all the waiting, self-deceived optimism and disappointment. sad to say, that's my life.

anyway, i guess that i was quite lucky that none of my colleagues noticed my red and swollen eyes or asked me what happened. or maybe they thought i didn't have enough sleep. lunch with meeshell, ben, timothy made me feel better. all the crap about how silly school rules/punishments are. super funny. laughed like crazy, thanks to funny meeshell.

talks with colleagues can really cheer me up. but guess that its something temporary. its not like they can make me happy all the time though sometimes when i'm crying, i think of things they said/did, i'll just burst out laughing. crying+laughing. yup. that equates to crazyness.

need some directions at this crossroad. but its not as if i have lots of directions that i can take anyway.

shall just end abruptly here. i shall take care. and everyone too.

karaoke session yesterday was great =D

(blur pic =x)

(there's a pic with only jm and me looking quite scary cause our dear derrick pang seh-ed us. -not to be posted- )

we were so high can!

silly derrick took so long to arrive! at first i thought he didn't dare to enter after hearing jm and me singing cause the volume was pretty loud. bet the whole row can hear us singing la!

it was me who jio-ed jiamei for this singing session cause i was feeling kind of -_- and needed to let it out. and was really glad that derrick could join us. i love jm and derrick!

jm -my fellow jay fan- really made me happy with some funny actions/tunes. HAHA. and derrick really had some hidden talent (apparently its true, qn) singing a mei's songs. jm and i was like o.O

a pity my laogong couldn't join us! both of us haven't sang those duets for a long time eh! really look forward to singing with jm and derrick again!

mahjong session at ben's house
liting and i went to ben's house for a mahjong session a week ago. quite funny when we saw ben's friend/neighbour who joined us with his girlfriend. cause the first time we saw him, liting and i thought he looked like ________.

my mahjong knowledge didn't improve much la! still don't know who should throw the dice and start first etc. =/ but i was lucky ok! won the first 4 consecutive rounds (if i didn't rmb wrongly) hehe.

after that, we walked to serangoon gardens for dinner. liting was like so suaku! haha! cannot blame her actually cause i don't expect someone staying at woodlands area to come to serangoon gardens. but she's missing out lots of nice food la! brought her for a quick walk around before we went to eat at the famous chicken rice restaurant. the food was great!

on the bus ride home, liting and i thought it was pretty awkward. cause ben's friend+girlfriend were talking to each other and liting and i were talking to each other. HAHA. so u can imagine the scene right. heng i alighted first. HAHA.


there's work tmr! =s i want more weekends! work isn't all that bad. lunch with colleagues can be pretty funny/lame. and i can't believe i actually told some guys in my dept about (1)________ and (2)_________. lots of my close friends do not know about (1) ______ - even my laogong la! i guess telling my laogong about (1)_____ will be disastrous. i'm sure.