hello,

okay this is like probably the longest interval in recent years that i haven't updated this space. i swear there's multiple occasions when i signed onto this account with the intention of wanting to update stuff but just didn't manage to start/complete a post. i guess i've been really busy and caught up with so much stuff that i feel that i can hardly breathe sometimes.

exams have ended and i've completed my 4th year (hopefully, since results arent out yet). i'm worried about my overall results even though i think this time's written exam is pretty manageable, mainly because of the many other components that i didn't manage to do as well as i should. but oh wells, i've tried my best i suppose and i'm leaving everything to God :)
4th year 2nd sem is supposedly the most difficult semester ever in the dental course so i'm thankful to God that He has pulled me through this whole year.

somehow i'm already getting scared about next year (omg, final year), knowing how stressful it can be towards the end of the year. so many things to worry/stress about and its just daunting :( and time just passes so fast that i can hardly catch up with it. like i can't believe its going to be Dec next week. damn fast.

i've been really easily annoyed and impatient recently. i'm just upset at the way i treat others and taking people and things for granted. :(
i'm going to lakes entrance after my dad goes back to sg. hopefully it'll take things off my mind a little and i hope i don't miss my dad too much (it shouldn't be that bad i hope, since i'm headed home in 2 weeks time). what i feel super sian is that i have 3 clinical sessions the following week. k was saying that we should just enjoy our short getaway tgt but then again, its so difficult to not think/worry about clinical stuff since i'm having clinics when i come back from this road trip. i really pray hard that everything goes well with the issuance of denture and splint. and more importantly, my patients being able to attend the sessions.

life's quite sad in the sense that there's like no end to worrying. after something's done, we have something else to think/worry about. or maybe its just me, who always thinks further ahead and finds stuff to worry about. idk.

:)

back to being a happy me. thank God for putting me through all that has happened. i supposed i've learnt stuff and have become a stronger person?

anyways i wanted to blog about a lot of stuff after last weds but i ended up procrastinating all the way till today.

sydney trip was a short retreat for me, but well, its still a good break. bad weather but good company, so i won't complain.

and yesterday (13th june) was the day :)

:'( and :')

still trying to get over what happened. and i'm so dreading this week, esp tomorrow. Lord, please give me strength to overcome my fears.

i've been thinking way too much, feeling upset about stuff that i should have already gotten over. but u know how there's just some triggers (e.g. people around u) which remind u of unhappy stuff (but of course they don't do it intentionally) which just pulls u back down to where u started off.

anyways kind of relieved that OSCE was over yesterday. holidays have started, but not on a good note, and definitely not the way i want it to start. i keep reminding myself that God've made plans for me, and i should accept them and make the most out of what i'm going through.

so the consequence of thinking too much, is waking up at 6am on the first day of my holiday (after sleeping past 2am the night before). been sleep-deficient the previous nights. i wonder how my mind even have the energy to think about stuff. and crying the moment u wake up isn't a good start to the day. i thought tomorrow is always a better day?

didn't join the rest for post-exam dinner yesterday (didn't want people to sense that i was unhappy), but instead, had dinner with su and joseph (my favourite couple). hanging out with them kind of cheered me up a little. they are just so reassuring. like when they tell u not to think about it, u will really be kind of convinced to not think about it (though its not a lasting effect but at least it works for a while). so glad to have them around. on a side note, su showed me this korean singer that totally made my day and she sent me some pic of me and him side-by-side that she put tgt. awww she's too sweet :)

and my other awesome friends - mitch, yt, jm and parmesh, thanks for showing concern/trying to make me feel better. 

mum has been praying esp hard for me this period and i know my family gives me the utmost moral support. appreciate all that they have done :')

for now, i'll stay strong :')

confused

yesterday it happened. i feel pissed for some reason even though it should be something that i feel happy or excited about.
i was complaining to mitch whatever happened and i think he thinks that i'm at fault.
anyway, he was quite discouraging about the whole thing since it started.

i feel that recently i've been complaining too much about stuff that are not meant to be complained about.

argh. i'm just annoyed at how things have become and at myself.

down :(

hate it whenever i have to post something with the title containing ':('

but i guess i don't have choice cause i'm really feeling down.

 

did my first extractions of 2 retained roots and suture (!!!) today, but somehow, i don't feel happy/excited. 

cause maybe i fumbled quite a bit and didn't get things right the first time.

and i'm worried about getting a suitable pt for my case pres. and getting an endo pt. most prob i can't complete an endo case this sem. just because i wasted time on a particular pt who couldn't be bothered to come. so damn annoyed with her. 

so many things to worry about. sigh. this is just life, isn't it?

talking to mitch kind of makes me feel happy, but then again, we talk for hours over the phone. hours that can be spent on studying, talking to my family (which i feel bad for not calling them sometimes) and doing other useful stuff like exercising. lol but seriously and honestly, i wouldn't exactly see it as a waste of time. i'm glad that i've got a good guy friend whom i can tell him anything under the sun.

should i follow his advice about what i should do next? idk. =( 

i'm just such a confused person. being my friends can be a really tiring thing. thanks friends for being there for me :)

 

:)

i think i made the right decision?
thanks to whoever who encouraged me to do it :)

wasn't that bad/hard after all :D

:)

THANK GOD for patients who are very understanding :)

i really feel bad for always having to call patients to reschedule appts =(

today wasn't a very productive day. because half of the time, i was just planning the new zealand trip for the winter break. the trip is going to be costly =S am considering to resume work at that old place, but i'm not sure if i can handle the workload (but to be honest, i'm not utilising time wisely when i'm at home.) so maybe i should start working (provided that place has work for me).

watched This Means War yesterday and it was really funny. LOLL, haven't had a good laugh for a long time.

on the way back home, friend mentioned that i'm overly-optimistic after some random conversation about going to church. and i agree that i am, cause i know myself that i'm trying very hard not to be unhappy over trivial things (like what i always do in the past). i've changed, to a stronger person :)

eat, eat, eat

omg i simply can't describe how much food i've been eating over the holidays since i came back to sg. i've eaten several buffets (just had one at Holiday Inn last night which was alright, nothing fantastic, but nevertheless the spread was good), a whole lot of meat over the christmas season (had all the different kinds of meat over every single meal during the past weekend), and what scares me the most, my sugar intake. but fortunately, i'm trying to go to the gym every other day. i need to exercise longer during each gym session cause i'm certain that my intake of calories far exceed my output.

i've met up with most of my close friends and they've certainly made my day <3 Thank God for every single one of them :)

there's just so many things that i need/want to do:
1) do as much spring cleaning as possible
2) organise my macbook/external hard disk - i just hate doing all the IT stuff.
3) read up/ revise dental-related stuff - simply can't bring myself to do it but i'll try; and cause we have to collect extracted teeth for our endo pre clinics the coming sem, i've to clean up lots of extracted teeth so that's sufficiently clean for me to handle them without gloves. it was so damn gross. a couple of teeth would have been alright, but i'm talking about a bottle full of close-to-rotten carious teeth. =x
4) think about my resolutions for 2012 - never really thought that i'll be doing this; i've never done it before cause maybe i thought it wouldn't matter that much since it should be pretty much the same every year or maybe i was just pure lazy.
5) exercise MORE and more importantly, eat LESS.


i'll start with items 1 and 2 tomorrow. hopefully i'll be getting down to doing them.

good night!

merry xmas :)

christmas this year was filled with so much love from family and friends :)

exactly one more month to my return to melb. fourth year's going to be exciting but stressful ttm. till then, it's going to be more eating, watching dramas and slacking :)

cairns is awesome fun :)

need to rush my CDH assignment =/ will try to update about cairns when i have the time and mood :D

*thanks jo for your comment on the previous post :D can't wait to catch up with u girls when i'm back. x

hello spring!

just got home from work and the house just feels so empty cause mummy flew back to sg already =( missing her.

i've been so mean to her (the usual me =/) and i swear i know that i'm mean but just can't help it sometimes. i hate myself for being so selfish and grumpy and not knowing how to treasure those around me. i suck i know =(

but but, i did have a great time with mummy (uploaded some pics on fb)! we ate super a lot of good food (both outside and home-cooked). mummy's cooking just rocks ttm. AND WE SHOPPED LIKE CRAZY. hahah i must say, "like daughter, like mother!" i bought so much stuff cause its like the end-of-season sales. damn awesome shopping. i felt so guilty for spending so much money, buying stuff that i can completely live without it. but i told myself i'm earning money, so that's fine. its so bad. =x

i need to try to study some stuff cause i've neglected my work like crazy. mum's here, lots of birthday celebrations (a big one for my good friend coming up after cairns trip), work, cairns trip coming up etc etc. i really want to get onto the groove of studying hard core again. flying to cairns on thurs for a week (super long =x) and so i'm only left with tonight and weds. tmr i'm going to the dent hospital to collect my denture framework for my pt and then meet jin to get some photos of him for printing for friend's birthday. OMG DAMN BUSY =(


i don't know how to describe the situation i'm in now. busy but yet i don't feel like anything is being done. feeling so unaccomplished.
i just need a day to sit down and flip through my notes without any distractions. but its really difficult with thousand and one things going on. maybe after the spring break it'll be better (it better be)!

i hope cairns trip is going to be enjoyable and everything's going to go smoothly. =D

week 4 of uni

wow its week 4 already. been slacking so much that i really wonder if i did any concrete studying during the past 3 weeks of uni. and i guess the answer is no, sadly.

and i really shouldn't be updating my blog now since i have to prepare for my perio presentation tmr =/ i have to read and familiarize myself with the 16 pages of content that su and i have written. i foresee myself dozing off in front of my lappy soon. ya i seriously don't know why i've been so tired these few weeks =( i sleep more than usual. i blame the weather.

awww mummy's coming on the 31st and i can somehow sense her excitement about coming to melb. she kept asking what i want her to cook when she's here. so sweet right (i love my mummy ttm!)

and yes, i found a part-time (or rather, casual) job. teehee. i went for training last week and i felt a bit stressed by the job cause its fast-moving environment but the people are nice and i really hope i would be able to work with my friend (she's really awesome). i just checked the roster for this week and guess what, i'm only working 2 hours this week. LOLL, i want to work at least 4 hours! but i really don't dare to negotiate with the supervisor cause i'm a newbie. and i think i need to work more often to get used to the job. but ya, maybe it's also good that i have more time for my work (that's provided i really make use of my remaining time to study).

Ahhh i can't decide if i should go cairns with my dent friends during the mid-sem break in sept! the whole trip will cost about A$800 to A$1000 depending on the activities that we'll be doing. i think i might just snorkel/dive etc. definitely not sky-diving. totally not mentally prepared for it. i thought if i'll be working more often then chances of me going is pretty high. but looking at my working hours now, i think i should carefully consider going to cairns.
i know i eventually want to visit cairns and probably sky-dive, maybe when the flight is cheaper or something? i really don't know!! =//

i skyped with pam yesterday and i really miss her company here in melb. i really hope she'll be back in melb to visit soon!

22ND BIRTHDAY :D

had a lovely birthday :DDD

i should have posted about my birthday earlier cause now i'm really very lazy to do a proper post on it.

yea basically, my friends gave me a surprise (thanks to my dearest su and parmesh who tricked me) the day before my birthday. i have to admit that i didn't suspect anything until just before the surprise. cause the girls said they were going to celebrate my birthday on the actual day and so i didn't thought it would be the day before. love the surprise party (with good food!), presents, cards etc. for those who gave me personal presents/cards, i really appreciate your thoughts. u guys are just so sweet <3

skyped with my family for like 3+ hours on my birthday and i definitely felt the love from them. :DD

was telling parmesh/su that i don't really feel like celebrating my bday (esp now that i'm not young anymore), maybe just with closer friends (like a mini celebration). its more personal and it makes me feel more comfortable/less awkward (if u know what i mean). but yeaa just want to say a BIG THANKS to those around me, making me feel loved and cherished! xx

my 22nd birthday resolution:


THANK GOD for making my life so amazing. :DDD

happy day

i feel happy today even though,
i've been slacking too much and wasting my time (not doing anything useful since uni started); and
i got woken up by parmesh's calls yesterday and this morning which kinda shocked me (and i really don't like getting shocks in the morning); and
i went to uni today even though its my official free day (still can't believe that my group is so lucky to have every thurs off).

YEA, but still happy,because,
its my MUMMY'S BIRTHDAY today! and i called her just now to wish her and she was happy + excited from receiving my birthday wishes (so cute right) and i'm happy whenever mummy's happy; and
i kind of enjoyed assisting parmesh today in the clinic (actually glad that i went to assist her. i'll be wasting my time at home anyways and i get to meet my friends in the clinic and chat with them. loll); and
i can watch city hunter (with ENG SUBS) tonight. second last episode though. i'll miss lee min ho! hahaha

life's good when u feel good. =D but but, i need to start being disciplined (study more and eat less!).

yea and i'm so not looking forward to celebrating my birthday with friends. i don't like to celebrate with a big group of friends. prefer small groups' celebration and like to celebrate with my family the most. mummy said when she come to melb in late aug, she'll celebrate with me a super belated one. awww she's the best :D but yea its alright, not that i really want my birthday to be celebrated. i seriously don't mind just staying at home and do what i like to do.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YT! :D

just want to say how wonderful u are as a friend :) always there for me when i'm feeling lousy, home-sick etc.

things hasn't been going too smooth for u, but yea, u know u can overcome all these.



just keep believing,



and keep smiling (:



i'll cook/bake whatever u want to eat when i'm back in sg at the end of the year, so look forward to that. in the meantime, just eat more and healthily :D



once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!


love u lots :D

holidays #2

went to sydney from 30jun - 4jul. we flew by tiger and omg, received the news when we were in sydney that tiger got grounded by the aviation dept. so stupid. yea and we spent half a day in sydney searching for options to go back to melb. i had to go back on time (that is 4 july, if not the latest 5th) cause i was flying to tassie on the 6 jul (and thank God this time i was taking jetstar). flights were expensive so we decided to go by rail (bus was the cheapest but we reckon train would be safer). 11 hours overnight train ride wasn't that bad after all. had to unpack my sydney stuff and pack my stuff for tassie on the 7th. spent half a day watching secret garden. only started watching then and i'm so addicted to the drama. i love hyun bin!! hahaa. yea i was so glued to my laptop that i didn't feel like going to tassie anymore.

sydney trip was okay (more fun than i expected). surprised at myself for remembering how to get around. my sense of direction is really not bad (or i guess getting around sydney is not that difficult). haha
mostly went to places that i've been before but i really don't mind cause they are really nice places that are worth going more than once. went to some places for the first time - manly beach, chat thai (oh man i love the food there) and whale watching. and i shopped quite a bit =/ need to start saving money now!

tassie is a lovely place, but the cold weather kind of made the whole trip less enjoyable. i brought sufficient warm clothings but i still shivered like crazy. the weather was bad. rained everyday =/ and we actually trekked at cradle mountain in the heavy rain in the thick snow for an hour or so. amazed at how i managed to do that. but the scenary was just breathtaking. everything was just covered with snow (kind of reminded me of one of the scene in the kdrama snow queen).

quite relieved to be back in melb after 10 days of travelling. went to maria's friend, jason's house to cook mee siam for them and we had a lazy sunday afternoon tgt, playing wii and just sitting around. jason's apt is really nice (facing crown) but his rent is just so ex. wish i was staying in such a beautiful apt though.

i get so irritated and easily pissed these few days. i don't know why, but i just cannot stand people who say lame things and think they are funny when it is not funny at all. somebody irritated me in person (multiple times) a few days ago and i really feel like asking him to shut up (but obviously i didn't). and another person sent me a text that pissed me off so much that i replied in a very unfriendly tone, and he sensed it so he replied saying that he was 'just joking'. whatever, seriously. and another person pissed me off on fb and i really feel like scolding him on fb but then again, i didn't cause things will become quite awkward i reckon. sigh i know they are doing it unintentionally but still, i'm just uncomfortable with it =/

i must learn to calm down and not get offended so easily.

going to cook something special for dinner - having a mini pot luck with su and tricia. hopefully it'll turn out nice :)

almost there but not there yet

med paper was erm.. okay.
BUT, it was a choose-5-out-of-8 essay questions kind of paper. and i sort of had a (very) difficult time choosing my 5th question to do. and guess what. i think i made the wrong choice. cause halfway through, i felt as if i was a bit bullshitting along. hopefully the lecturer is lenient and thinks that i make some sense. and i really really pray that my other 4 questions can make it.

next paper (and FINAL ONE (FINALLY)!) is this friday. pathology part II.

i've been updating about my exam papers and it sounds like i'm taking so many subjects right. but actually everything adds up to 100% (they call it Oral Health Sciences 3 to put it really nicely from their point of view) even though each of them are different subjects. med, path and pharm. all are crazily hardcore subjects (we study like shit for each and every one of them) but they are only worth 30%, 30% and 40%. so not worth it. seriouslyy.
its not like we can put in 30% or 40% of effort for each of them.

this friday's paper is worth 18% of OSH 3. sounds little but still have to chiong if i don't want to screw the whole OHS grade up.
(but i'm taking a break tonight first. really need a rest la)

this morning was just so stressful. that's why i don't like afternoon papers. u feel like u have to study once through again in the morning cause u don't want to be slacking away just before your paper. and i barely finished my 2nd round of revision at 1pm and my paper starts at 2pm.

after dinner, i went over to pam's place to borrow a plaster cause i cut my finger yet again. and we chatted for pretty long (what we always do whenever we go over to each other's unit). her last paper is this wed, then she's headed to cairns and then back to melb for a few days before heading back to sg for good.
sigh. i'll miss her so badly.
i rely so much on her. i'm just so scared that i'll feel lost next sem without her around.

yesterday when i was cramming for med, i remembered that it was tw's golden melody awards on saturday so i went to check who won what. and ya, jay chou won two big awards. good on him. haha. i'm seriously weird. stressing over my exams and at the same time can be bothered over such things. but these are good distractions, aren't they.

last paper, go go go!

brand new week (sem)!

i guess i'll HAVE to feel better since it has already been 2 days since friday.

just get over it, okay?


i'm waiting for pam to arrive and we'll probably head to our favourite brunch place after she put down her luggages (:

the uni semester starts formally tomorrow. our first week of seeing patients.
let it be a good start!

have a good week ahead everyone!

my new home

this is my bed (: as u can see, i don't get a nice view outside my window cause i'm living on the lower floor, but still, i love the fact that there's a lot of sunlight. ahh i love watching tv and using my laptop on my bed. feels very shiok. thanks to the guys for setting up wireless in my place!
i'll probably post photos of my mini living room and kitchen some other day when my study table and kitchen are neater.


made birthday cards for jasmine and amy! can't really do much scrapbooking here in aust cause i don't have my materials with me. and i don't have much time anyways.





more photos the next time!

be strong, my friend

my friend's going through a very hard time :( really hope she'll be strong!

will pray for u and your family! take care dear.