once again,

it's swot vac and it's time to hardcore study.
(wait, i can't believe its like the end of year 4 sem 1. which is so damn fast. feels like it was just after cny when i flew back to melb).

this sem was not very smooth-sailing (yea i realised how i've described every sem as bad). screwed up during clinics + patients not turning up when i really desperately need them to turn up, being very disorganised and bad with time management, and being distracted with (good/bad) stuff. etc etc etc.

nevertheless, i thank God for all that have happened and all his plans for me :)

on a side note, thanks to someone who delivered breakfast to me this morning. made my day :)

for now, just concentrate on studying. other things can/should wait.


I CAN DO THIS.

FOCUS.

take one step at a time

tomorrow is my last written paper. next mon i've got viva voce (oral exam).

don't think too much, just concentrate on tomorrow's paper first.

and don't lose steam. FOCUS.

all i want to say is that..

i'm stressed, stressed, stressed

last day of 3rd year dent

it just feels so... unreal. yep, unreal that i've completed 3rd year (unofficially though, cause there's still exams).

my last GP clinical session kind of suck. what a way to end 3rd year. i feel so lousy. and i can't blame anyone cause it's my fault. why do i always make mistakes that i shouldn't have. i feel dumb. sighhh.

i slept only 3 hours last night and the night before. thanks to trying to memorise stuff + distractions etc. i need to focus and not waste time.

Thank you God for pulling me through the whole 3rd year. Please grant me strength for the coming exams, to be productive and free from distractions and study smartly and able to answer the questions to the best of my ability. Amen.

:)

it's 3+ am already...

...and i'm just done with the transferring of notes for surgery. kind of done with printing all my notes and transferring stuff. but then i haven't studied/memorised these recent notes. i don't think they will be coming out for exams anyways (i hope?!)

not exactly sleepy but i have to get up at 7+am for a lecture at 8am later. better sleep soon i guess.

random stuff...

-just now at 2 am someone triggered the building's fire alarm. the fire engine came but apparently they couldn't find the reason for the triggering of the alarm.

-keep thinking of what happened yesterday and i still get goosebumps. omggg. i'm quite disturbed by it.

-my right shoulder hurts (for no apparent reason?!) ever since i returned to my apt after the fire alarm incident just now. hope it gets better somehow when i wake up later.

-listening to hitoradio online. love the music at this time :)

-not sure if i'm on the right track for revision for exams. u know what i mean, like when u r studying but then u'll think if u should be studying other stuff first or if u r missing out on anything impt. =(

thank God for the past few days when i was more productive.

i'll keep praying :)

good night(morning) world.

starting to feel the stress.

yes its the time of the year again =/ got my exam timetable. exams are in less than a month's time. kind of like the arrangement of the exam dates. at least we don't end on the last day of the exam period. that sucks ttm.


kind of glad that the stress has kicked in. it's a wake-up call for me to focus on studying.


because God has said, 'never will I leave you, never will i forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5)
:)

hello spring!

just got home from work and the house just feels so empty cause mummy flew back to sg already =( missing her.

i've been so mean to her (the usual me =/) and i swear i know that i'm mean but just can't help it sometimes. i hate myself for being so selfish and grumpy and not knowing how to treasure those around me. i suck i know =(

but but, i did have a great time with mummy (uploaded some pics on fb)! we ate super a lot of good food (both outside and home-cooked). mummy's cooking just rocks ttm. AND WE SHOPPED LIKE CRAZY. hahah i must say, "like daughter, like mother!" i bought so much stuff cause its like the end-of-season sales. damn awesome shopping. i felt so guilty for spending so much money, buying stuff that i can completely live without it. but i told myself i'm earning money, so that's fine. its so bad. =x

i need to try to study some stuff cause i've neglected my work like crazy. mum's here, lots of birthday celebrations (a big one for my good friend coming up after cairns trip), work, cairns trip coming up etc etc. i really want to get onto the groove of studying hard core again. flying to cairns on thurs for a week (super long =x) and so i'm only left with tonight and weds. tmr i'm going to the dent hospital to collect my denture framework for my pt and then meet jin to get some photos of him for printing for friend's birthday. OMG DAMN BUSY =(


i don't know how to describe the situation i'm in now. busy but yet i don't feel like anything is being done. feeling so unaccomplished.
i just need a day to sit down and flip through my notes without any distractions. but its really difficult with thousand and one things going on. maybe after the spring break it'll be better (it better be)!

i hope cairns trip is going to be enjoyable and everything's going to go smoothly. =D

last paperrr

3 more hours to the start of my last paper. totally not in the mood to study. i think i'm kind of prepared (or rather i just want to get over and done with it)? just pray for no mental blocks later during the exam.
path is such a self-study subject. the notes are just pictures and u'll have to read up in order to have something to study. so i guess how well we do for this paper depends on how much we read and whether we read the correct stuff.
i really miss being spoon-fed.

i have a feeling that i won't feel damn excited/relieved that exams r over later when it finally ends. maybe cause this whole thing has been dragging and dragging for such a long time that i'm just mentally drained to feel anything. and another reason could be that i'm not going back to sg this winter break. going back home always brings excitement, at least more excitement than staying here. also haven't got much plans for this hol.

cheer myself on,

almost there but not there yet

med paper was erm.. okay.
BUT, it was a choose-5-out-of-8 essay questions kind of paper. and i sort of had a (very) difficult time choosing my 5th question to do. and guess what. i think i made the wrong choice. cause halfway through, i felt as if i was a bit bullshitting along. hopefully the lecturer is lenient and thinks that i make some sense. and i really really pray that my other 4 questions can make it.

next paper (and FINAL ONE (FINALLY)!) is this friday. pathology part II.

i've been updating about my exam papers and it sounds like i'm taking so many subjects right. but actually everything adds up to 100% (they call it Oral Health Sciences 3 to put it really nicely from their point of view) even though each of them are different subjects. med, path and pharm. all are crazily hardcore subjects (we study like shit for each and every one of them) but they are only worth 30%, 30% and 40%. so not worth it. seriouslyy.
its not like we can put in 30% or 40% of effort for each of them.

this friday's paper is worth 18% of OSH 3. sounds little but still have to chiong if i don't want to screw the whole OHS grade up.
(but i'm taking a break tonight first. really need a rest la)

this morning was just so stressful. that's why i don't like afternoon papers. u feel like u have to study once through again in the morning cause u don't want to be slacking away just before your paper. and i barely finished my 2nd round of revision at 1pm and my paper starts at 2pm.

after dinner, i went over to pam's place to borrow a plaster cause i cut my finger yet again. and we chatted for pretty long (what we always do whenever we go over to each other's unit). her last paper is this wed, then she's headed to cairns and then back to melb for a few days before heading back to sg for good.
sigh. i'll miss her so badly.
i rely so much on her. i'm just so scared that i'll feel lost next sem without her around.

yesterday when i was cramming for med, i remembered that it was tw's golden melody awards on saturday so i went to check who won what. and ya, jay chou won two big awards. good on him. haha. i'm seriously weird. stressing over my exams and at the same time can be bothered over such things. but these are good distractions, aren't they.

last paper, go go go!

persevere

i hope i can stay up late tonight to study as much of med as i can.

after tomorrow, it'll be better, i reckon.

(i just ate my 4th instant noodles during this exam period. feel like puking.)

oh and,

Happy Fathers' Day, Daddy!
love u <3

why

i really don't know what's wrong with me.

:(

first written paper

pharm paper was okay and i think i managed my time relatively well but i kept having to squeeze information out of my brain during the exam. i missed out 2-3 points but i'm glad i remember most.
(mummy always tell me to not expect too much and be contented with whatever state i'm in.)

almost went crazy memorising all the content. it was that bad.

having a headache now but i have to study for tmr's morning pathology pract.

JIA YOU!

so screwed

:'(

couldn't pack my amalgam restoration properly.
had some deficiency and excess on the same resin incisal corner restoration.
how bad is that for a pract exam. :(

but at least i had something to hand up (if i want to make myself feel a tweeny bit better).
imagine if i had decided to remove my restoration and re-do at the last minute but had no time. that's the worst ever that can happen.

feeling so so down :'(

haven't spoke to mummy for almost 5 days cause i can't bring myself to call her. i'll just break down (as it always happen during exams).

what should i do :(

another (depressing) day of studying

加油!!

another unproductive day

fullstop.

lazy and slack =(

yep that pretty much summed up my week. sigh. this is probably like the slackest i've ever been since year 1. i did some work, but its not sufficient (i think).

the cold weather is making me lazy. de-motivated to do anything, except maybe cooking and baking. i need to stop eating so much :( i bought so much groceries from vic mart just now and i've been looking at recipes online to see what i can whip up. such a waste of time right.

my patient yesterday made me feel good. she's so nice and sweet (if only all patients were like her) and said things like "your injection was good because i didn't feel dizzy which i felt last time when i had an injection". haha but really, i'm sure its not that the previous student/dentist was lousy or anything (since its more of the patient's anatomy that plays a part in a successful LA) . but it still made me feel good (:

cold~

its 7am now and i'm shivering!! the weather has been freaking cold the past few days. so difficult to study or to even sit still in front on my study table, resisting the temptation to snuggle under my warm fleece. i guess that's why i keep falling asleep early (thanks to studying on the bed =//). and i keep drinking loads of hot water at night to make myself warm (bet that made my face looking swollen in the morning).

and the weather forecast says there's "local hail and thunder" today. sigh sigh.

my exam timetable came out on monday. super not looking forward to it. got two weeks (freaking long) of study break before my lst paper. 4 papers over a period of 2 weeks thereafter. the whole studying thing is going to last 4 weeks. I'll going to be drained like crazy :( and i'm definitely going to lose my steam studying during that 2 weeks of study break. at least give me 1 paper during the 1st week of exam and end the whole process earlier. now i don't feel the urgency to chiong my revision since i feel that i have ample time (and hopefully that's true).

so many things unsettled/undecided. should i go for the prize ceremony (will have to skip my occlusion preclinic and the last pharm lecture of the sem and pam has to skip her tutorial to accompany me)? the stupid dental school alwaysz spoil my plans by rescheduling sessions =/. and i haven't book my air ticket to new zealand after exams (need to arrange some stuff first) =( hopefully the cheaper fares will stay the way they are. and should i work during my winter break after my new zealand trip or travel to other places? quite tempted to work though. haha can earn extra money to shop during the end of financial year sale. :D

not having a lot of luck with patients the past week. sian. patients can't make it for my wed perio session so i have to squeeze them into my fri gp session (meaning i have to do perio during gp when i have other stuff to do) and i hardly have any gp sessions left before it's exams and holidays. won't see them till 2 months later. hope their carious lesions don't progress or it'll be beyond my ability to treat them and have to refer to senior/specialist. seeing a new patient today and she's coming late :( guess i can't do much today again.

realised i keep sighing these few days. very loudly. hahha.

okay, time to go to uni.

studying is no fun :(

I really want to stop studying NOW after studying almost continuously since morning. But I still have one more chapter to go for today:((

Pharmacology is so confusing :(

Daylight savings end tmr. Yayness to one more hour of sleep and two hours time difference (instead of three) between Sg and Melb :)