God is so amazing :D

really thank God for showering so much love on me :)

rem pros pract exam..

..is tomorrow.

pray for steady hands and a clear mind :)

exam sorrows

last two days were so bad. so so bad. in terms of my productivity. i actually slept at 10pm for the past two nights (saturday and sunday night). maybe its because i needed to catch up with my sleep (after sleeping only 6 hours in total for 2 consecutive nights). i really hope that's the case, and not because my brain's repelling the notes and putting me to sleep.

i always feel like crying (and i do actually tear) whenever i go to church during exam period. cause going to church reminds me of my mum who always praying for me whenever i go through tough and stressful times. and it makes me miss her presence so much. =(

i remember my mum being with me during my first year's final exam and she was REALLY by my side. she stayed in my apartment most of the time (the only times she went out were to buy groceries). she just read the newspaper to occupy herself when i was studying. i've got to admit that it was rather distracting, but the feeling of having someone to be there physically beside u is so reassuring. whenever she prayed for me when she was with me, it felt so encouraging. and i guess that's why that semester i got the award for dent materials.

sigh, now that i'm in this exam shit again, i really want my mum to be here and to tell me, "its okay, just do your best."

i know i'll still eventually pull through this even if i'm alone but it's going to be tough.

i'll have to be braver.

just to side-track a little, someone went to church on sunday and i was thinking to myself at the start of the service if he would be there (cause he don't usually go and only went once to our church). and he really went. it was really quite a surprise and it made me really quite happy :) i'm beginning to change my impression of him.

okay back to study. i've got to press on.

pray.

it's 3+ am already...

...and i'm just done with the transferring of notes for surgery. kind of done with printing all my notes and transferring stuff. but then i haven't studied/memorised these recent notes. i don't think they will be coming out for exams anyways (i hope?!)

not exactly sleepy but i have to get up at 7+am for a lecture at 8am later. better sleep soon i guess.

random stuff...

-just now at 2 am someone triggered the building's fire alarm. the fire engine came but apparently they couldn't find the reason for the triggering of the alarm.

-keep thinking of what happened yesterday and i still get goosebumps. omggg. i'm quite disturbed by it.

-my right shoulder hurts (for no apparent reason?!) ever since i returned to my apt after the fire alarm incident just now. hope it gets better somehow when i wake up later.

-listening to hitoradio online. love the music at this time :)

-not sure if i'm on the right track for revision for exams. u know what i mean, like when u r studying but then u'll think if u should be studying other stuff first or if u r missing out on anything impt. =(

thank God for the past few days when i was more productive.

i'll keep praying :)

good night(morning) world.

pray

praying hard that u'll be fine.

some things that i realised..

#1 i really dislike doing scaling and root debridement on patients. last time (before i started clinic) i thought it was easy (like its one of the easiest dental procedure). but no, cause your indirect vision thru the mirror is (totally) obscured by the water coming out of the EMS scaler. and i'm afraid of going subgingival which will cause the gums to bleed though i know that it SHOULD bleed. even my healthy gums bleed when my dentist do scaling on me. what more about my patients with poor oral hygiene, right? i really should learn to be more daring.

#2 went out with my dent friends for dinner after clinic at some jap restaurant and had a long dinner (which is usual for our group). and then we headed back to the common room in my apt building when we discussed about our easter trip to Grampians.
somehow i feel that i've been spending too much time with them. not that i have many other friends outside dent that i should have time set aside for them, but i just want to have more time to myself (yes, myself AGAIN). but i don't know why i'm complaining when they are already complaining that they are seeing less of me (cause i don't go to every dinner outing though i'm trying to).

i just need to have some balance in my life. i realised that i can't study the whole day or slack the whole day or see the same people the whole day. i'll get tired and sian.

#3 talking to my family/friends in sg really takes up a lot of time. its easier said than done to just talk for a few minutes (maximum 30 mins?). cause there's so much to talk about (its two sided, my family have lots to tell me too). i really wish i had more time for my family/friends or have the ability to multi-task. as for friends, i really want to be there for my good friends who are having tough and stressful times in uni. they are always there for me, so i really want to do the same as well.

i'm not someone who really procastinates, or waste time. i get down to doing what i need to do but i don't seem to have enough time. sighhhh. and, you can only manage your time when u have time to manage right.(lol am i even making sense?)
i guess all i can do now is take things one step at a time.

one of my good friend's mum is diagnosed with cancer. life's just so vulnerable. her mum's really kind, i always remember how nice she is to me when i was in cedar. stay strong dear, will keep u and family in prayer (:

post-exams

exams ended on a really bad note. :'( ahh shall not talk about it. its over and all i can do is to pray hard that things will turn out fine somehow.

went karaoke at night after dinner and sang till 3am (: LOLL the guys were so funny that they made me laugh so hard. i guess everyone really needed to unwind v badly after exams.

had to pack and move my stuff to pam's and oony's place after exams because i'm moving out of my current place. SO DAMN TIRING. packing almost killed me. had only 3 hours of sleep for the last two days cause there's just too many things to pack. totally shocked at the amount of stuff that accumulated over 2 years. i think i had 15 boxes/bags of stuff. but had two friends to help with the moving. awww the guys were really sweet can. but i seriously feel so bad that they had to carry so many things in the rain and gerard's car got damaged (though not serious) :(

the weather's so nice today (: going to safeway and vic market to buy some stuff to bring back home. and going DFO south wharf to shop later. life's good after exams (: