exam sorrows

last two days were so bad. so so bad. in terms of my productivity. i actually slept at 10pm for the past two nights (saturday and sunday night). maybe its because i needed to catch up with my sleep (after sleeping only 6 hours in total for 2 consecutive nights). i really hope that's the case, and not because my brain's repelling the notes and putting me to sleep.

i always feel like crying (and i do actually tear) whenever i go to church during exam period. cause going to church reminds me of my mum who always praying for me whenever i go through tough and stressful times. and it makes me miss her presence so much. =(

i remember my mum being with me during my first year's final exam and she was REALLY by my side. she stayed in my apartment most of the time (the only times she went out were to buy groceries). she just read the newspaper to occupy herself when i was studying. i've got to admit that it was rather distracting, but the feeling of having someone to be there physically beside u is so reassuring. whenever she prayed for me when she was with me, it felt so encouraging. and i guess that's why that semester i got the award for dent materials.

sigh, now that i'm in this exam shit again, i really want my mum to be here and to tell me, "its okay, just do your best."

i know i'll still eventually pull through this even if i'm alone but it's going to be tough.

i'll have to be braver.

just to side-track a little, someone went to church on sunday and i was thinking to myself at the start of the service if he would be there (cause he don't usually go and only went once to our church). and he really went. it was really quite a surprise and it made me really quite happy :) i'm beginning to change my impression of him.

okay back to study. i've got to press on.

pray.

last day of 3rd year dent

it just feels so... unreal. yep, unreal that i've completed 3rd year (unofficially though, cause there's still exams).

my last GP clinical session kind of suck. what a way to end 3rd year. i feel so lousy. and i can't blame anyone cause it's my fault. why do i always make mistakes that i shouldn't have. i feel dumb. sighhh.

i slept only 3 hours last night and the night before. thanks to trying to memorise stuff + distractions etc. i need to focus and not waste time.

Thank you God for pulling me through the whole 3rd year. Please grant me strength for the coming exams, to be productive and free from distractions and study smartly and able to answer the questions to the best of my ability. Amen.

:)

it's 3+ am already...

...and i'm just done with the transferring of notes for surgery. kind of done with printing all my notes and transferring stuff. but then i haven't studied/memorised these recent notes. i don't think they will be coming out for exams anyways (i hope?!)

not exactly sleepy but i have to get up at 7+am for a lecture at 8am later. better sleep soon i guess.

random stuff...

-just now at 2 am someone triggered the building's fire alarm. the fire engine came but apparently they couldn't find the reason for the triggering of the alarm.

-keep thinking of what happened yesterday and i still get goosebumps. omggg. i'm quite disturbed by it.

-my right shoulder hurts (for no apparent reason?!) ever since i returned to my apt after the fire alarm incident just now. hope it gets better somehow when i wake up later.

-listening to hitoradio online. love the music at this time :)

-not sure if i'm on the right track for revision for exams. u know what i mean, like when u r studying but then u'll think if u should be studying other stuff first or if u r missing out on anything impt. =(

thank God for the past few days when i was more productive.

i'll keep praying :)

good night(morning) world.

=x

my jaw dropped with i received the text. omg.

this is so so freaking scary.

but su told me not to read too much into it. i will (try).

i should just concentrate on studying.

starting to feel the stress.

yes its the time of the year again =/ got my exam timetable. exams are in less than a month's time. kind of like the arrangement of the exam dates. at least we don't end on the last day of the exam period. that sucks ttm.


kind of glad that the stress has kicked in. it's a wake-up call for me to focus on studying.


because God has said, 'never will I leave you, never will i forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5)
:)