((:

was looking for new songs to download cause my itunes has been so deprived of new chinese songs. and i clicked on the top few downloaded songs. clicked on this song by pan wei bo, and i totally got addicted to the song. lol and after listening for more than 10 times then i realised that its written by jay((:

he made my day (:

finally

yes finally i'm done with my last test before exams. and i'm glad that things turned out ok and i felt much better after the test as compared to the previous tests. but i really pray hard that the results will turn out fine. now i'm starting to have some hope already (:

been studying so much the last few days, cramping all the reproduction, genetics, anatomy, pharmacology stuff into my poor brain. i could really feel how saturated my brain was, cause i couldn't absorb any more info like about 2 days ago. so i went to zi qiang's place to study (for a change of study environment) which i felt quite bad for imposing on him and his housemate. they sleep really late, like 5am so i could stay till late to study. i'm really quite amazed at how i really studied till 3.30am before he drove me back. (and even more amazed at how i slept at 4am for 2 consecutive days without feeling tired. must be my mum's ginseng =) ) they had wireless in the house which tempted me so much to use the internet. so i skyped yuting (: told her a whole lot of things that i was so unhappy about and i felt really better after telling her (: yess she makes me happy! and her encouragement really helps a lot.

going for buffet at crown with the dent pple now. yes today we can enjoy ourselves before we start chionging for the exams. oh my, i'm scared :(

AND i really want to thank everyone for your encouragement. i'll hang on (:

(:

I CAN DO IT (:

I'M SO PISSED WITH YOU.

i find my studying pace slowing down. whyy, i just don't understand. its not like i've studied a lot in the day that i have all the time to slack at night. been skyping a lot with family and friends which i cannot really help it cause i really miss them a lot. i'm really scared and worried for this test cause it means a lot to me. but tan yuting told me to believe in myself and so i'll try to (:

been coughing really badly... esp at night. ok maybe that's why i study v little at night cause i don't see myself being productive - coughing while studying. my cough is damn irritating.


i'm pissed at someone for always affecting my mood. sian.

((:

suddenly everything else didn't matter.

with so much love from YOU, YOU and YOU.

song from shu yi (thanks dear):
Leona Lewis - Footprints In The Sand

You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I'm going

You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much unknown
Along the way
Then I heard you say

(Chorus)
I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow
And despair
I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

I see my life
Flash across the sky
So many times have I
Been so afraid

And just when I
Have thought I'd lost my way
You gave me strength to carry on
Thats when I heard you say

(Chorus)
I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow
And despair
I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

When I'm weary
Well, I know you've been there
And I can feel you when you say

I promise you (you)
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sadness (when your heart)
And despair (and despair)
I'll carry you
When you need a friend (need a friend)
You'll find my footprints in the sand

(I promise you)
(I'm always there)
When your heart is full of sadness (sadness)
And despair (And despair)
I'll carry you (I'll carry you)
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

i love my daddy, mummy and jie so much!

<3

i woke up this morning and somehow i just burst out crying. my sis called cause i text her. and she asked if i needed dad to fly over and accompany me...but i said there's no need. but later my mum called and talked to me and she sounded really worried. i guess its because she knows that i must be feeling quite bad before i would cry in front of them. she told me that my sis would be flying to melb next fri to spend the weekend with me. i'm feeling kind of confused cause i know i want my sis to be here with me, but then again, i'm already so busy with sch work with 2 tests coming up.. although my sis says she'll just keep me company but i'll feel bad if she just stay at home with me cause i want to bring her around. i want to chiong my work now so there's more time to spend with her next weekend but i just cannot bring myself to do it. i need a decent break.

my laogong wrote me an e-mail and the subject was "LAOPO". i felt soooo touched when i was reading it cause she seldom talk sense into me. our conversations are always so light-hearted and we didn't like talking about stuff that r more than simple-minded. anyway when i read the e-mail, i could just imagine her talking to me cause its so "her". i couldn't stop smiling when skyping with her cause my internet was so lag that sometimes the screen would just freeze and the image would be v funny cause she's in some weird position and having a weird expression. i love her so much (:

yeah i was at debbie's room last night cause i needed someone to watch kangxi with me. it made me feel better. she also talked some sense into me. its times like this that i feel that i need people to talk some sense into me so i won't think too much.

quite looking forward to tmr cause i have some time to spend with myself. i seriously need some time alone.

:(((

lots and lots of things running through my mind now, as usual. the feeling really really sucks. having lots of mixed feelings too.

i really miss my life back in singapore so badly. had so much fun in sch whether its in jc or in nus. in jc, i didn't mug during weekdays cause either i watched tv the whole day or had cca till night. i could just sleep anytime i want (often on the sofa while waiting for the next show to start cause cable tv channel 55 always have that 15 mins break between shows that u cannot do anything constructive but just wait for the next show to start so i always end up sleeping without brushing my teeth [oops] and my mummy will have to drag me to my nice cosy bed and tug me to sleep (awwww)). and i'll wake up in the morning and carry the same stuff that i carried to sch the previous day [ my file was always exploding cause i didn't file any worksheets. lol. ] and saturday was rushing-the whole-week-of-tutorial day for me. i'll be a nice girl sometimes and wake up early on saturday to accompany my mum to the market. and and..sunday was FAMILY day [ i miss having breakfast almost every other sunday - the damn delicious wanton mee at the coffeeshop in siglap (oppo haig girls sec) with my dad and sis and then fetch my mum from church after that]. we often have to wait for like an hour for that reasonably-sized bowl of wonton mee but we didn't mind the waiting though we always wonder why its always taking so long despite the fact that its not that difficult to prepare.] we'll also go to the club [seletar country club where i will gym away all the sinful meals i had during the week or raffles town club where we will have nice dinner (: ]. if not, quite often we'll go try some other nice eating place that my dad recommends, like claypot rice at clementi, food at changi airport cause he has discount etc etc. AND i miss the ever so sinful buffet meals that we have quite frequently. i'm dying to eat grand corpthorne's cafe brio's buffet. i wonder what's the cuisine they r serving now :(. my parents love bringing us out and they will always tell me not to study so hard [though i feel that i didn't study that hard to deserve all the outings]. i love my daddy and mummy for that (: my dad especially likes to ask us to watch tv with him - his F1 races, japan hour, discovery channel etc. and recently (as in when i was still in sg], he kept watching my ch 55 hk dramas and sometimes the taiwan shows (which he claims is lame but he watches it TOO. oh well. lol] in the early morning. so when i watch, he'll say he watched it before and he can tell me the sypnosis. ahh my dad's so cute (: oh and i simply don't understand why i keep watching the repeats for the same show even though the episodes aren't that fantantic. its such a waste of time but i enjoyed it so much.
i love hanging around in sch (nj)... slacking during breaks and talking crap and eating whenever we r at the canteen [desserts and bao. lol]. its not that we have nothing to do, we just love to slack. and CO was so enjoyable even though the practices were frequent and tiring and our section always got niao by the conductors and mr lee. after cca would be dinner at curry wok or kap. and we'll stay till around 10plus before we'll leave for home. my parents nv ever blame me for going home late. my dad or jie will sometimes fetch me after dinner or if i take the bus, my mum will ask me to call her when i'm reaching so she'll fetch me from the bus stop. ouch i miss my family like crazy.

ok i feel weird pouring everything out here...i honestly don't like to write about my life in detailed cause my blog is not private. but somehow, for some emo-ish reason, i have an urge to do it. hopefully it'll help me feel better though i think i'll flood my room with my tears in no time.

yes (and finally the main point) i really feel like my life's so different here. and i'm not adapting and managing my life here well. i'm not coping well with sch work especially. its so depressing that i've been consistently studying so hard, just to get some shit grades. i hate to compare with others cause i've been telling myself that i've tried my best and nothing else should matter so much. and comparing will only make me feel worse. but its seriously tough especially with the singaporeans around. they make me feel worse cause they have that singaporean mentality (if u know what it is) that is always influencing me to think like them. it gets quite annoying. how ironic that the singaporeans r the ones who upsets me. somebody please save me.

i wouldn't say i regret coming here cause after all its my choice and i know i want dentistry. i expected some not-so-smooth-sailing life over here but now that i'm experiencing it, i feel that reality has striked me. and its just hard to deal with it even if u r expecting it.

i skyped with my lao gong last night till 3am and she made me smiled. i couldn't bear to cry in front of her cause she looked so happy now that her exams ended. and i'm really happy for her.

i'm taking a break tonight. i'll pray hard that things will improve for the better. and i'll stop being a baby and keep crying.