holidays are overrr.

3 days of the new semester have passed. and i'm starting to sink into reality that holidays have ended. rahhh.
and i was just telling a friend that i want to go back singapore! i know u people out there must be thinking, what nonsense is this right! third day back in melb and i'm already saying that i want to go home. but, i really want to go homeee! had too much fun during the holidays and the feeling of going back to uni is just simply described by one word. SIAN.

but then again, i must say that the hols this time around felt longer than what i expected it to be. so i shall not be so complainy since i had my fair share of fun and its time to go back to the books.

first week of holidays was just eating, eating and eating with my family. my daddy and jie brought me to some very nice food places which they went to when i was in melb. and i was terribly full for ALL meals (including breakfast), can u just imagine the amount I ate!

attended my jie's commencement and i'm felt sooo proud of her completion of the chem engin degree. she deserved a very big pat on her back, after going through all the semesters of hard-core studying in the very competitive environment. [= and congrats Jie for getting a job very quickly! looking forward to her starting work, so I have more money to spend =D heh. that's what a little sister is for right!
and i just can't wait for my turn to wear the graduation gown and collect that scroll. dec 2013, can u come faster please!

i enjoyed my 21st birthday party very very much. simple affair (in fact, its not exactly a party. just a gathering sort of thing.) but that's what i wanted. and biggest thanks to my family and friends who penned down wonderful memories for me in the past 20 years of my life. xoxo (:

JAY CHOU TOTALLY ROCKED my last week of holidays. went to his autograph session at bugis but i seriously didn't queue with the 6000 people to get his autograph. crazy crowd. but i caught a glimpse of him which was good enough! THE ERA concert was really the best concert (of the 3 jay chou concerts that i've watched so far). his stage presence was just AMAZING. totally worth every dollar and cent and i don't mind watching the same concert again! awww, he's just awesomee!
<3 <3 <3

this week of school is kind of relaxing. the professors have been ponning lectures. seriouslyy why didn't they tell us that there's no lecture! and we just sit there and stare at each other while waiting for the lecturer to appear.
and i don't understand why are we studying neuroscience. its not like we are going to tell our patients which part of the brain affects their tooth-brushing or something.

shall go back to watching my dramas (:

back in melb

well, i'm now sitting at my living room with my fleece blanket over me (its freezing!) as i use the sch's wireless internet. i suspended my dial-up internet for the month of july cause i think its not worth it to pay for internet the whole month just for the last few days of usage in july. it's lucky that my apt faces the sch so i can use the uni's wireless. but then again, it means having to sit at the living room where it is so cold! ohhh well. was quite upset about the internet thing, but sighh, there's nothing that i can do anyways.

dent camp last weekend was just super duper rowdy. lots of drinking and crazy games. lol, and it's the first time i drank till i became a bit tipsy. at least its better than those seniors who were dead drunk. sometimes it makes me really wonder whats wrong with these pple... the seniors drank volka as if they were drinking water. lol.

i realised that my timetable for this sem is not as bad as it seems, esp since i managed to get exemption for part of a subject. but i hope i don't start slacking. i need to continue to work hard (: quite surprised at my grades for last sem. it was better than i expected (cause i seriously thought i would fail the dent subject). i'm really thankful that my results came out fine. love all those who gave me so much encouragement and support - esp my family <3 , yuting, shu yi and amy!

will jia you for this sem!

2 weeks of home

have been home for 2 weeks already (damn fast!)
yes its just awesomeee to be back home, spending time with the family and friends and myself.

and i'm really enjoying myself, doing lots of things:
*meet-ups with friends [lots of photos to be photoshopped and uploaded!]
*meet-up with ex-colleagues [its so heart-warming to know that they r very concerned abt me (: love them! ]
*spending time with my family [shopping with mum/sis; eating nice food with dad; family gatherings]
*watching boys over flowers [thanks to debbie who saved the episodes onto my hard disk. i think the show's damnnn nice! but i'm really slow at watching, don't think i can complete before going back to melb]
*playing the piano [i'm glad i still rmb how to play my fav songs]
*gym-ing quite intensively [doing lots of cross-training/threadmill, hopefully i can lose weight quickly. and i need more determination to cut down on my diet]
*driving [my dad allows me to drive longer distances, =D ]
*baking [my new lovee <3, but this is bad cause i'm eating lots of the things that i bake]
*watching tv [my tw and hk shows ((: ]

and moreee!

but somehow even now that i'm back in singapore, some things r still weighing on my mind.

and results. i find it really difficult to not worry about my results [i don't know when its going to be out]. damn scaredd.

please give me hope.

UPDATES

i have lots to say... [don't read unless u have time to listen to me rant]

i just ended my mid-terms unoffically[cause there's still german]. LIKE FINALLY. ok, its prob too much of an exaggeration to say FINALLY. cause i had 3 papers which lasted for 2 days. HA, 2 days only. but trust me, its really mentally draining. basically because the papers were super crammed. last sat evening i had MLE [taking a paper on a weekend evening, can u believe it]. then today [monday] i had econs and maths. both in the evening. both at the same venue, for me. could just rot in MPSH 1 for hours u know.

i didn't have much time to prepare for the papers [with all the f1 race, tuition and driving lessons, i guess its understandable why i had no time]. went to sch early to chiong my last min revision for econs and maths this morning. and my day only ended at 9.30PM [pens down for maths]. wah, come to think about it, i actually spent around 14 hours in sch. totally shagged. but really grateful to seamus who drove me home. taking his car home was a real relief=D seamus kept making me laugh with his driving tips. he says that he park -whether vertical or parallel, by "FEEL". ... HAHAH, ok, so much for learning where's the sighting points for parking during my driving lessons (i'm currently learning parking, which means soon i can book my test. yay.)[talking about driving, i thought it was really a coincidence to meet john at the driving centre on friday.]

i feel disappointed about my econs paper [not saying that MLE and maths were ok]. the mcq wasn't easy. lots of manipulation for the calculation questions. tricky questions and answers. its like A)__________; B)_____________; C)_______________;D) B and C; E) all of the above. i was like WTH [haha ok, doesn't sound like me to say this. guess its a little too much influence from the guys and i just need to let some feelings out]. i'm not really feeling that bad as i may sound, just a little hmm... upset and frustrated. shall not fret over it. i'll just TRY to be positive.

i was looking forward to the end of today cause tmr i'm not going sch. wed's holiday. thurs - prob i'm self-declaring a holiday cause there's only 1hr maths and prob make-up for german. so back to sch on fri. HA, 2 sch days for me this week. but i realised that my german mid-term paper is next week. SO FAST. cannot have too long a break cause there's lots to study.

german is really getting v intensive. a friend of mine [who's learning french], said that what he's learning now in french is what he learnt in english during kindergarten. how true is that man. today i just learnt how to read the time on the clock in german. so difficult la. all the half-past six, 12.02, 17.56 crap. haha.

the f1 race was really cool. dad went down for the friday qualifying. my sis (and i) got him the grandstand ticket as his birthday present [he loves f1 u see, and it seems that i'm getting influenced too]. i didn't go - no time + no ticket. but i watched the telecast last night (the whole race). think that the race was really v exciting. how could someone miss seeing Raikkonen crashed during the final fourth lap and how the fueling hose (or whatever u call that) stuck to massa's ferrari when he moved off from the pit-stop. its so scary! and my sis and i realised that raikkonen is good-looking. hamilton's not bad too. hee.

tuesday
today was v hectic. after going toa payoh to get some stuff done, i had driving and oh my, driving was really bad today =( =( =( sigh, i guess some instructors really make me feel v lousy. i need encouragement, please.

and i had tuition later. my tutee is really v funny la.
Tutee: teacher, u still have any papers?
Me: yup got german next week.
Tutee: ok... if u do well, i'll buy u a lollipop.
Me: ..... erm, HAHA ok.

she's sec 4 (taking o levels soon) and she's really sweet. such a tutee really makes teaching tuition a joy.

hmmm.

OH MY, my internet connection is really bad. i think its because of the telephone line that is linked to my router/modem. keep signing out of msn. i can get quite irritated with this, so can just imagine how irritated the other party gets. anyway, i'm always appearing offline when i'm online so if there's anything, can just pm me.

I MISS MY LAO GONG SO MUCHHH! supposed to meet last wed, but couldn't contact my lao gong cause her hp was sent for repair. ok lar, i think i miss everyone over at ntu. please please come and visit the people at nus!

i'm getting kind of stressed up. lots of tutorials, and have to hand in graded assignments, loads of german hw (people like sean and yuanqi will understand, cause i'm always doing german stuff when we r together), preparation of presents and driving lessons to chiong etc. tuition lessons really burn out my weekends. but i quite enjoy giving tuition, so i shall not complain.

i was clearing my sms-es when i saw this quite recent message, and realised i misinterpreted it and misunderstood that person. and now i think of it, my reply must have sounded really weird/irrelevant/mean and i guess that's why i didn't receive any reply. oops. and i know this person reads my blog, so i would like to say sorry (if case u know who u are).

疼爱 by 萧敬腾 is really a nice song. the lyrics sound really sad - 我沉默 不代表我不痛
我不痛 眼淚就不會流 - (it describes how i've been feeling) but it has a catchy tune. i love 萧敬腾. hee.

yy is leaving tmr for uk. i'll miss her! =(

school life

i've decided to spend more time on my german. cause i think from next week onwards, mr doepel would prob be teaching in german already. [DIE!] so here i am, at national library [lee kong chian reference lib] now, listening to the podcasts for the german lessons and trying to catch every single word that i can. decided to drop by here after helping my sis to carry some stuff to the carnival at the park oppo esplanade since i've brought my laptop along with me.

tutorials are starting this coming week. =x there's quite a bit to prepare for tutorials [all those assignments slowly accumulating...]. and i have really lots of stuff to do other than sch stuff [don't feel like saying what though]. really hope i have the determination to do those stuff.

been having my meals at arts canteen cause i take quite a no. of arts mod [and i've only eaten once in engin canteen so far. HA!]. feel quite happy to see my (old) friends in arts. but there's not much time to catch up since we are always rushing off for some lecture. and i'm v glad to be able to meet and chat with shuyi for 3 days the past week. i'm always laughing non-stop because of her [yuan qi and sean think that i'm a bit crazy i bet] and i simply love sharing stuff with her. anyway, both of us have decided not to go engin bash so pple, don't ask us to go anymore!

sch's getting more interesting, i think.

been feeling kind of busy during the week that has just ended. i've been running/rushing to many places. [and oh my, i was super late for the second MLE lecture today. heng there's yuan qi to chope a seat for me.]

p.s i shall make this post a light-hearted one [not that i'm done with all the confused feelings, its just that i want to make myself less miserable].

i met up with yuting for a short lunch on weds cause i wanted to pass her her v belated present. really feel bad ok. but its something REALLY special [to me, at least]. i don't do this for anyone so yuting really should feel honoured. ha.

this is the cheesecake baked by me. =D was proud of myself that i did not use an electric beater (cause i couldn't find it), meaning i beat it manually! and everything was done in 2 hours. hurray. oh, but the edges aren't trimmed v nicely cause my slicing skills weren't good. but anyway, v glad that yuting likes it <3.



choon chuan actually said it looked like kaya toast. =S i told chongren proudly that i BAKED a cheesecake cause he thinks that i made the simple cheesecake (those that need not be put into the oven. just refrigerate it can already.) whatever la. but of course it cannot be compared to the one he makes.


here are some photos of oweek. [okay, this is really random]

oh before i forget, i would really want to thank mitch for his help! THANKS. really appreciate it.

lost and confused

okay, i'm not exactly confused. i'm feeling more lost. more lost than ever.

why must things always turn out this way? when i'm telling myself to accept what i've got now, something else must happen and make me think about things ALL over again. AGAIN. 2 months back, i received the initial offer for a course which i nv thought of doing but its something i don't mind and so i had to think really hard about the offer. then now that i chose to stick to nus chem engin, another offer came. and this time its something that i really want. was kind of happy when i saw the offer. but then later, i don't feel happy anymore. there's too many considerations and i'm running short of time. why can't everything just run smoothly. if only all these will just end soon. i feel stretched and somehow tortured by all these. i need to make the decision by myself. can't possibly always depend on my parents and sis right. if not, i really doubt i can survive overseas all by myself.

i'm going to call the uni tmr. and i'm hoping that things will go my way. praying really hard. and where are those people when i need them most!

there's so many things happening this month and i feel really tired. and i'm actually wasting time in sch tmr. well, i guess at least there's sean and yuan qi to rot with me.

i thought german lecture was fine today. (the lecture group is really small - almost the size of a tutorial group and they actually call it a lecture). mr martin doepel was interesting. some words really sound vulgar. i feel kind of weird practising them. when saying "my name is..." in german, its like saying *&^@#!. my sis was laughing (not at me, i hope). i can conclude that vulgarities don't suit me. or rather, i'm not suitable to say those stuff.

i'm like so irritated with someone today. glad i won't see this person for the rest of the week (and hopefully next week and next next week).

okay, i guess i'm really v grumpy today. shall rest early and stop thinking about stuff. things will get better. hopefully.

happy

today's my mum's birthday! happy birthday mummy! truckloads of love <3 <3 <3

yup, i'm happy today. =D =D =D

basically because lots of funny things happened today. plenty. would really love to share with others but i'll just go bursting out with laughter before i can speak anything intelligibly so i look crazy.

today was the dean's welcome session for nus foe. we sat together as an og and with shuyi's aj friends who were really nice=). shuyi sang this v funny song and i really laughed like crazy. then chongren's silly actions also made me laughed. etc. etc. etc. lots of other funny stuff. oh, and i saw jo! wanted to talk to her about some stuff but didn't have the chance.

went back to nj to collect the cert. met wh and then kc. couldn't play badminton with them today! but don't think i'll go even if i can make it cause its so far. and like what i say, carrying the badminton racket from my house to bukit gombak will make me look so silly. next time, u guys must come toa payoh or hougang to play! had a pretty long chat with them at the canteen. wh told us about his participation in ndp. v funny. he's in some bird float segment. HAHA. ok, that got me and kc laughing like crazy. and i told them about my driving. oh my, now come to think of it, i shouldn't have said so much, cause its v embarrassing. and wh actually said he will avoid the roads at yck. [apparently he was the second person who said that =x] eh hello, i'm such a cautious driver and even a bus driver [beside my car at a traffic light] encouraged me u know! i shall buck up for my driving so i won't be laughed at anymore! =/

met amelia + friend (choo ting) near the field (whatever that place is called, i forgot) and we talked bad about kahyan within that short period of time! haha, just joking la. we'll always love u, kahyan! oh, and i saw my junior, jinxian playing soccer at the field. oh my, he's like so free can. thought prelims' arriving in 3 weeks time. just want to wish my juniors all the best in their revision =D and wh's so kaypoh lor, kept asking about ________ & me. that's like so ... ... haha.

went for dinner with family at miyabi jap restaurant. great food. shall post the pictures another time.

oh, i need an icing bag, those kind for decorating cakes. i'm going to bake a cake for _________. haha, must be honoured! i need it urgently so if anyone has it, pls lend it to me!

i'm loving 萧敬腾 more! think he's v adorable. and of course talented. =D